I am a tad under the weather with a cold and yesterday was the worst of it. I had a headache, sore throat, itchy eyes and sinuses AND an extremely short fuse.
After taking care of some work that I had to get out of the way, I was left to my own self and my own mind. Not a good thing when I am sick! I witnessed myself go into a negative state rather quickly at the drop of a pin. Yes, I did, and numerous times at that. I witnessed how needy I can be when I feel sick or down and how quickly I expect others or ANYTHING outside of myself to push me back into pure positive energy. HA!!!
My partner went out for a few hours and got stuck in a situation with no way to communicate with me that he would be a lot longer than anticipated. Boy did my mind run with that! Boy oh boy did I run with that. The sad thing is that I hurt myself more than anything else. Funny how that works, huh?
I did the best I could to bring myself back to my Center or Vortex on numerous occasions. I tried to watch TV, but everything on was stupid, depressing or uninteresting. I tried to read, but my concentration sucked from the headache. I did my Mala beads several times, but found my mind wandering and clinging to what I was obsessing and lamenting about. IT SUCKED!!
The only thing that provided some relief was sharing a bit of what my mind was going through with my partner. I am cautious about sharing some of the content of my mind when I have gone to these depths. I know most of what I am thinking, feeling or obsessing about is a projection of my own drama and has nothing to do what anyone but me.
In non-judgmentally communicating what was there for me I was finally able to free up some of the stuck energy and get back to a place of appreciation, love, and more importantly, My Vortex. Wow, what an interesting learning experience...
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