Saturday, February 27, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 55

I find it interesting the more I take care of myself and my needs and desires, the better I feel and the better things are going for me.  Very interesting.

I know now that my recent past was all about me not doing this.  I fell further and further away from taking care of myself in my relationships.  All of them.  The more I did this the crappier I felt and the worst things went for me.

I was like a liquid that would fill whatever mold was in front of me.  Family, friends or other relationships dictated the form and function of my life (mold).  Eew!  This caused me significant pain and it deeply affected all of those relationships as well because my intent and energy goes out from me like radio waves.

I see now that what I was doing was using these relationships as a means to feel good about my SELF.  Pretty much like being an addict.  Dependent on something outside of me to make me feel good.  I see this now and can refocus my energy and intent on me and my needs and desires.  The rest will fall into place out of this.

I am so grateful for this insight!

I can clearly see the pattern throughout my entire life now.  I am no longer going to take that drug and I am running to recovery meetings to get the emotional support I need to proceed and exceed in my life.

Friday, February 26, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 54

This is all about taking care of my SELF and feeling good.  Remember?

Well it seems the more I do this, the better I feel and the easier it is for me to turn away from contrast or unwanted conditions.  I feel like I am reaching a critical mass and that things are unfolding like "magic".

Yee freakin' ha!  It is about time.

I have some major ideas and developments that I want to share, but I have to let them stew for a few days.  I have to check them in with some of my trusted advisors and my partner, but I have a feeling it is all going to work really well because all of the details are lining up so easily and wonderfully.

The long story short...THIS STUFF IS FOR REAL!  IT WORKS IF YOU WORK IT!

The law of attraction is leading me to heal some very deep issues and things that have caused me to be separated in my mind from Source for too long.  This healing process did not feel so good at first, but now I can look back and see the feelings were my EMOTIONAL GUIDANCE SYSTEM trying to tell me something.  I was not in my Vortex!

I am now consciously back in the flow and heading down a road that I must.  I know all the details will fall into place with an ease and a grace that I haven't experienced for close to 16 years.  For this and so much more I am grateful.  So may it be...

Thursday, February 25, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 53

My entry today is short and sweet.  Life always gives me what I need!


Sometimes what I get does not look like what I want, but if I step back I can see how the things that come to me are a progression of insights and growth necessary to achieve what I say I want in any one moment.

There is immense power in the spoken word, but more importantly in thought (or intent) because thought ALWAYS precedes words or actions.

I am beginning to finally fall in love with life again, but more specifically, MY LIFE!  Yay!

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

the 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 52

One of the things I want to share is about gratitude and how important it is.

This is a practice I've recently added to everything else I've been sharing with you over the last 51 days.  It hit me as I continue to read the book, "The Vortex" again.  Remember, my task is to practice these principles exclusively for 90 days to see what happens.

For me this means reading the book over and over again, listening to spiritual music and chants only, praying and meditating often, working with my spirit guides and teachers and writing and sharing my journey.

The past few days I have taken to heart the practice of being grateful for things about people in my life.  Specifically, people that I have been having challenges with chronically or otherwise.  I am sure no one out there has crappy relationships they'd like to improve.

So as part of my prayer practices in the morning and evening I think of all the people I have less than lovely relationships with.  I find two things to consciously be grateful for with each and every one of them.  It sounds easy, but it isn't at first.  I has taken some serious focus.

What is the result?  I feel better AND I find I am able to focus on what I want much easier than on what I am not receiving or what I am frustrated with.

Thank you Abraham, Esther and Jerry!  I am becoming freer and freer in my head and in my heart.  I am sleeping much better and more soundly.  I wake up excited and ready for my day and I am beginning to smile, giggle and laugh again.  Oh wow,  yesterday I even caught myself singing joyfully....  Imagine that!

Have a delicious day in creating a delicious life!  XOXOXO

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 51

I have come to some very important decisions in my life and I feel VERY good about them.  These things have been bothering me for sometime and now I am finally free of the energy and emotions that have been dragging me down and blocking my progress towards creating what I've been seeking to create.

What it all really boils down to is that I have to take care of myself first and foremost!

I have to put myself first!  It isn't about being selfish, it's about self-care and self-love.  In doing this I am loving and honoring the divine spirit in all creation.  That which we all are.

The good news about this is things are improving the more I focus on my Self and my mental/emotional/physical health.

Yea!  Progress!

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 50

Wow, 50 days of hyper concentrating on the Law of Attraction and "The Vortex."  It has been quite a journey so far and I am clear it will continue to be so.  Only things are getting clearer and clearer and I am seeing the places and thoughts that have been keeping me stuck.

I have been creating using the Law of Attraction since early 2007 and I know now I had a conflicting focus and thoughts.  A lot of them.  I can see clearly now that in being depressed and anxious, I am focusing on what I don't want.  So, in obedience to the Law of Attraction, I got more of it.

Eew!

I am reminded of how powerful our word really is (and the Law of Attraction) by an experience a good friend shared with me today.

She recently took a job that she considered an in between job or a stepping stone to the next one.  It was a good job, but she kept saying to me and thinking to herself that it was a stepping stone and not the end result she wanted.

Well, she was let go by the employer and the reason the employer let her go was that they felt she wasn't there for the long haul.  They felt she saw it as a stepping stone to the next opportunity.

Wow!  Now that is proof positive of the power of our word, focus and thought.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 49

Wow has this experience been fruitful!  I have witnessed myself feel better and better and come back to my SELF.

I feel good being in my skin and I am good with things the way they are and the way they are not.  I guess we would call this surrender.  I don't have to like what is, I just have to accept it and do the best I can to deal with it on a moment by moment basis.

I have to take care of my SELF and love my SELF above all things.  I have to discover inside myself, regardless of what others want or desire of me, what makes me happy and fulfilled.  No one can do this for me and lord knows I have tried to heap that baloney on friends, family and lovers for waaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Today a quote from the book "The Vortex" really struck me.  I am surprised I missed it the first time I read it...  Here goes:
"Whether you are currently without the relationship that you desire or in the middle of a relationship that does not please you, there is nothing that you could do that would be of greater value in moving you in the direction of the relationship that you want than to take a notebook and spend time every day writing the positive aspects of the people in your life." (Page 92) 
This struck me because I have A LOT of relationships I want to improve.  Family, friends and otherwise.

I like this practice and I think it is important to do in long-hand writing and not typing it or thinking it.  There is something powerful about writing and creating with my hands.  It engages and forces me to think throughly because my long-hand writing is soooo much slower than my typing or the thoughts in my mind.

Some call this practice a gratitude journal.  I call it smart and it goes beyond gratitude because this is about appreciation and inspiration, not just gratitude.  I think I will go find a notebook in which to take on this practice.

Step by step, I am turning my life around and I LOVE what I am seeing.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 48

I find it so interesting how when I get my dreary feelings out of the way how wonderful things go.  I don't need to tell you how challenging these past few months and weeks have been.  It has been a huge challenge being me and trying to steer my ship.  It's been a great process because I am learning about myself and what works and what doesn't work anymore.  I have been gently led to processes and tools that support me wonderfully. This is great because I feel good.  It is about freakin' time!

I have been working towards reinventing my life since 2006.  I can look back now and see from this Vortex Experience that I have been in the way the entire time because of my focus.

When things went bad or weren't the way I wanted them, I would complain, lament and continue to focus on, "why me."  This goes against the Law of Attraction and always will.  I can see this throughout my entire life through my depression and anxiety, my sarcasm and my lashing out (or correcting) others.  I have been at the level of effect and not cause.

Over the past few weeks I feel like I have reached a critical juncture where I am not attached to ANY outcome anymore.  I just want to be at peace and feel good.  Nothing more and nothing less...

Sure I have things I want to create, but I know it is already on the way thanks to the law of attraction and my Vortex or vibrational escrow.  My job now is to be at peace, feel good and trust the process.  Keeping the eye on the prize means more to me now than at any other time in my life.

I only want to feel deep, profound peace and the delicious feelings that come from it.  That is all for today.

Friday, February 19, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 47

I find it extremely interesting that now that I have reached and passed the half-way point on my 90-Day Vortex Experience I am in a place that feels like total peace, serenity and an unshakable faith about life.  Like I said yesterday I feel more like myself than I ever have and I am so grateful for that.  It feels AWESOME!  I take several moments every day to consciously be grateful.

I also consciously work with my energy body every day.  I focus on the delicious feeling of the subtle feeling of the energy and bliss it brings me.  It only takes a moment each time.  It isn't like I have to sit down and chant or be in an Ashram for hours at a time.  I just take a moment to feel my energy body, I take a deep breath to expand it, I feel gratitude and then I open my eyes and return to what I was doing.

What I am experiencing in this is an expanded sense of joy and freedom.  Wow!

Synchronicity is happening everywhere I turn and events seem to be lining up.  Whether this is true or not is immaterial.  I just know that I feel AWESOME and this is the whole point of this Vortex Experience.  I was tired and frustrated with my life and feeling like crap.  So I launched on this journey as a last resort to see what would happen to my life out of this "practice".

Well, let's run down some of the results or should I say benefits:

  1. I feel great.
  2. I feel peace.
  3. I feel faith.
  4. Did I say I feel great!
  5. I feel self-love.
  6. I feel gratitude.
  7. I feel joy.
  8. I feel free.
  9. I feel love for life.
  10. I feel love for others.
  11. I respect others where they are.
  12. I don't feel judgements in me anymore.
  13. I have patience.
  14. Did I said I feel great!

Ok, do you get the point?  I sure do!  I think I made the "right" choice in taking on this journey...

Thursday, February 18, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 46


I feel great today.  I had an amazing experience last night where I actually got to watch myself and my body struggle with each other for a few minutes.  I was at a restaurant waiting for someone to show up.  He said he’d be there in a few minutes, but never made it. 

Thanks to my new "head space" I was able to watch my body try to get upset and go haywire, but I was able to simply watch it and stay calm and in control.  I really, REALLY felt like my old self again.  In control of the way I feel and in control of the direction I want to take my life.

It was like I was unwiring some faulty wiring that had been the result of the Meth addiction and trauma I have been through.  It was fabulous and very calming.

I see now that my upset with others was usually my "faulty" wiring and not the actual experience I was in that was causing me the reactions I was having.  Wow!  

The experience of Meth, according to my Psychiatrist, rewired my brain and neurotransmitters to fire at odd times and in odd situations.  I never took this as reality until last night when I was able to WITNESS my body from the SELF (my Vortex).

My friend apologized later for taking so long as we never met up.  I said, “no biggie” and I meant it.  Wow!  Freedom!  How delicious!!!!!

I am clear that I am onto something new in my life experience.  It is delicious, calm and powerful.  Let’s see where this goes from here…


Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 45

An interesting thought occurred to me this morning after my prayers...


I need to give myself room to breathe.  The point isn't to always soar with the eagles in my Vortex because that will not always be possible.  The point is to do the best I can at each and every moment to improve my focus and reach for what I am creating.

Yesterday, I did the best I could and it didn't feel so great, but by the end of the day everything was in amazing order and healing took place on so many levels.

I was a whiny, sarcastic bitch most of the day, but I vented with and got support from friends, went to a recovery meeting and did all the things I usually do to focus and stretch in the direction of what I am creating.  Wow, what an amazing lesson and result!

Incremental improvement is the lesson for me here.  I can't go from the bottom of the ladder to the top without climbing each and every rung.  End of discussion!

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 44

Wow did I get to see some UGLY stuff about myself yesterday.  It was perfect!

I guess all this focus on what I want to create has caused all that is unlike it to come to the surface.  I am confronted by it, but very glad about it.  I have had to first be honest with myself and then get into communication about it.  I have a lot to clean up in this relationship and I am anxious about what will get produced out of it.

I guess I can surmise that because I am feeling emotional relief in all of this that I can expect things to get better and better.  I must trust this because this is what Abraham Hicks' teaching states repeatedly.  They promised me that if I focus on taking care of my side of the street, love myself and feel good, then everything will come out as desired.

That is why I took on this project in the first place.  I was desperately frustrated and tired of my life the way it was.  Now as I inch along in this process I can feel the incremental improvement and the relief is FABULOUS!

Thank you Source!

Monday, February 15, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 43

I spent the day resting and doing nothing yesterday.  I feel like I am coming down with something or my body is letting go of something so I just take my time and rest.

I had to avert going on my ALC training ride yesterday because of this and I am okay with that.  I missed seeing everyone and riding in the incredible weather, but I am glad I took care of myself.  I know from past experience if I take the time to nurture my SELF I will feel better much quicker.

You know how hard it is for me to sit still?  Ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

I am the type of person that is almost always on the go with things to do and places to go.  I LOVE being busy.  I LOVE being around people.  I LOVE being outside and experiencing life.

It drives me crazy to have to sit still and rest, but at the same time it is good to do so from time to time.  The mental break is good for me.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 42


I am feeling under the weather today, but I feel great otherwise.  I feel like I made some powerful choices these past few weeks and I feel good by it…really good.

It has been especially challenging dealing with my anxiety.  I have recently become aware that anxiety is perhaps my biggest foe I have had in my life up to this point.  I am glad I found some good ways to deal with it and to help ease the experience.  It has brought immediate relief from the voice in my head that has kept me in a shitty place for most of my life.  Thank you God!

Now that I have some stability I feel like I am going to make progress rapidly!  No, I don’t just feel it, I KNOW IT!

I did not get the job with the Pharmacy I interviewed with last week. What I am elated about is that the opportunity came to me with ease and grace.  I only had to do research on the company, show up and interview and trust the process.  It was an amazing fit and I am so excited that I didn’t have to hunt or compete for it.  IT CAME TO ME!!!!

This is what this whole Vortex Experience is all about!  Yee Ha!

Am I bummed I didn't get it?  HECK NO!  It is a clear sign because almost everything was perfect.  It just wasn't a fit for the company and I am happy and grateful they found the right person!  It was an amazing position!

Other than Valentine’s day, I am going to celebrate in gratitude today.  All is well and so it is…

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 41

I had an amazingly easy, wonderful and restful day yesterday.  It was much needed.  I am learning to honor what I feel for the moment and not stress about doing anything.  My doing or actions must be inspired and joyful, otherwise, I am simply bringing in more of the same old same old...

Friday, February 12, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 40

Wow!  Another milestone reached. Almost to the halfway point!  Can you believe it?

Lately I have been experiencing an amazing life!  I believe everything I have been going through over the past few weeks has contributed significantly to this.  I have had conflicting thoughts and beliefs that were contradicting my progress.  In confronting these parts of myself I am now free from their influence.

I feel awesome! The more I practice what is coming to me the better I feel.  However, the best thing of all is that I am beginning to feel joy again.  This is wonderful!  It has been so long since I felt joy just because I am alive.

The more I consistently turn towards these tools and practices the better things are feeling and going for me.  Really!  I am now doing what I do because it is what I want to do and what I want to put out into the world.  Love and Joy!  I am doing my best to no longer focus on what I don't like or look for the manifestation of my desires.  The Joy that is bubbling up is enough.

Yay!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 39

The more I practice this Vortex Experience and its tools and exercises it seems the more authentic I am becoming.  First with my SELF and then with everyone else.  I feel like I am coming out of a cocoon I have been gestating in for a looooooong time.

I am shaking off the old body, structures and beliefs so I can emerge and be the new me.  The me I came here to be!

That's all for today...

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 38

Yesterday was great!  I trusted my intuition and had a conversation with someone close to me that made a huge difference in the relationship.  I had been holding onto all kinds of baloney and "myths" about this person based upon my reactions and interpretations of this person's actions.  In other words, I was taking it all personally and making their communications and actions all about me.  Ha!  What a freakin' joke!

I was reminded of the book the Four Agreements and the first agreement, "Don't take anything personally."

In having this conversation and getting all my misinterpretations and myths out on the table, I was able to free myself of the mental garbage I have been carrying around.  Can you imagine how light I feel today.  It is wonderful!

The communication and conversation went extremely well and I feel closer, safer, more connected and intimate with this person.  I am so glad I took the risk!

Now I get to continue this process in other relationships but out of a place of self-love, not out of a place of being accepted.  These communications may or may not be expressed verbally.  It will depend on how close I am with the person as to how the conversation will go.

I think it is amazing what I have been going through.  I could say that some of it has been an unwelcome challenge.  But, if I step back and look at it from a space of detachment it actually is the fruition and manifestation of my desires and vibrational escrow.  Why do I say that?  Because it is these areas inside myself that have been contradicting my desires and preventing them from manifesting.  I cannot offer a contradictory vibration and expect to see results.

This especially holds true for the unseen and unconscious parts of myself.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 37


I feel a tad better about things with my closest relationships, but I can’t help but notice how things don’t seem to change too much.  They are who they are and I can't focus on their behavior or actions or looking for results.  I like to compare this to the analogy of digging up seeds in a garden I have planted.  When I do that I stop the progress of growth or kill off the seedlings.  I would NEVER dig up seeds in a garden.  I know better.

So, why is this any different?  It's not!!!!!

My work is to focus on my SELF and trust the Universe to bring me my deepest desires and wishes.  This is what this whole Vortex Experience is all about.  Focusing on feeling good, turning away from contrast, allow things to show up, and then refocus some more.

I am not sure what to expect in my life and especially my relationships, however, I am going to keep on keeping on in this Vortex Experience and trust the Universe to show up the way I have been desiring and wishing for years.  It is about time to thrive again and if all I have to do is focus and feel good, then so be it.

I am grateful for life today, my health, living in San Francisco, my bicycle, my partner Gabriel, my mom, my cat, the peace I am beginning to feel and more importantly the disconnection from focusing on others and what they think, say and do as it relates to me.  Part of me feels so free it is wonderful.  I will continue to cultivate this and expand it.

Monday, February 8, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 36

AIDS Lifecycle 9 training day.  Sunday's are my training days so I begin by getting up early and getting on my bicycle to train.  It is just as great as heading to the gym first thing in the morning.  I love the endorphin rush.  It always keeps me calm and improves my mood significantly.

Today I rode 40 miles in the BEAUTIFUL weather.  It was an amazing experience and I couldn't help but notice how my great mood caused by the physical activity stayed with me the rest of the day and into the evening.

Thank God!  I needed to have a good evening.

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 35

Another day being anxious and stressing out over things I cannot control...other people and their behavior. It was a good day because it ended up well as I performed the same energy exercise I did on night 33 & 34.

It is interesting how easy communication can be if I open my mouth and share, ask questions or non-judgmentally share how I feel...

I have spent the better part of my life being afraid of communication on this level because it was harmful in the environment I grew up in.  Now that the cat is out of the bag and I have taken on this experience I see I have to deal with this and press through it.

It may cause me a tad of stress, but I am feeling a great deal of emotional relief by these actions and work I am performing with other professionals.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 34


Yesterday was productive, however, I found myself in my personal, dysfunctional, spinning, ego-centric, tornado of emotions and self-doubt.  It was a good experience because I learned something about myself I needed to see...again...

What came to me this morning about yesterday and these past few days is that I have been focusing on what I am NOT getting instead of what I want.  Sound like a theme?  Well it is.  It is a habit I have had as long as I can remember.  I have done this over and over and this is the cause of my tornado and my experience of anxiety and depression.  It is a vicious cycle that I need to shift.  I can’t to this to myself anymore.  It hurts me and keep others away.  I am exhausted and tired of feeling and being alone.

My focus is now turning to my SELF.  I have to take care of me before I can be of any value to anyone on the planet.  I have to resurrect my connection and my relationship with my SELF and go from there.  I ahve faith everything will fall into place out of this action and focus.

I trust this.  I know this and I give thanks for it.  And so it is…


Friday, February 5, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 33

I had a relatively good day yesterday, but the evening didn't go so well.  I had a personal experience with someone that was extremely untasty.  When I tried to communicate about it and share my experience it felt like everything was thrown back in my face.  It was a horrible experience and I had to back off as I just got more and more upset.  Horribly upset.  Nothing I did would calm me down and bring me peace.  I had to completely acquiesce to stop the argument.

Then I proceeded to do some work and exercises that I learned from my Mediumship Coach, Rev. Drew Vogt of Celebrate Life (http://www.ourcelebration.org).

I lay down on my bed and invited my Spirit Guides to come in and assist me.  This is a VERY IMPORTANT step.  Remember, we always have free will, so our guides cannot come in to help unless we consciously invite them in and give them permission to work on us.  They will not interfere with me or whatever I am going through.  The point being it is a CONSCIOUS act of inviting them in for help or communication.  It is never automatic.  They ALWAYS honor free will.

I invited them in to work with me energetically and within 15 minutes I felt much better.  I was also a tad euphoric from the brief experience.  Within a few minutes after getting back up, I cried for a few minutes and got in touch with some very deep hurt and sadness.  I will be speaking with my therapist about some of what came up and to learn what I need to learn to stop this mad cycle I've been on for so long.

Anyway, It's late and I want to relax for the remainder of the evening.  Check back soon for the ongoing updates of keeping my alignment and eye on my Spirit.  And so it is...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 32

A great day!  It didn't start out that way, but it sure ended up that way!


I was able to deal with some ugly stuff that has been coming up in a close relationship.  I had been focusing on the other person, what they were and weren't doing.  I was beating the "Pity Party" drum pretty loudly and rapidly and had been for quite some time.  Eew!


What I learned about myself is that my negative reactions and emotions coupled with the lack of communication and sharing was pushing this person(everyone) away from me.  They would steer clear of me in order to protect and shield them from my toxic emotions.  Wow!


Is this why I was alone most of my life?  Is this why my mom, dad and brothers stayed away from me from time to time.  Is this why I have little intimacy and closeness with my family of origin?  Is this what pushed close friends away from me with no explanation?


Can you see a life-long pattern here?  I sure as heck do!!!


This opens up a whole new realm of possibility for me: BEING IN COMMUNICATION!  Great, now I have something to point to with my therapist to work with to improve all these relationships I had mentioned above.  Yay!


This IS the Law of Attraction in action because I have been lamenting about these relationships for years.  Now I am clear that my energy pushed all these people away.  I didn't do it intentionally, I just did it by default.  Now I get to work on the why and unplug the myths and dysfunctions in my own self so I can have amazing relationships from now on no matter who it is.


This is AWESOME!  Thank you Source for this amazing opening and transformation of my mind!  I am finally free to really be myself and celebrate life to the fullest because I am no longer in my own way!  Wow!



The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 31

Yesterday was an interesting day.  I fought with myself over something personal in a relationship where I am experiencing some difficulty.  I found it extremely hard to focus and stay in alignment.  It was a very challenging day to say the least!

I experienced a wonderful process during my Shaman Circle this night.  I died!

This is an annual shamanic ritual whereby I let go of anything that could hold me back from passing onto the next life.  I get to say things that are unsaid, I get to forgive, I get to ask for forgiveness, I get to let go of attachments, dreams and desires.  It is a VERY powerful process.

I cried and cried and cried and got upset and angry and let go of all that has been burdening my heart for a few months now.  It was an amazing and powerful experience.

Letting go is a good thing!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 30


Wow!  30 Days already?

I feel awesome today.  I FEEL supported by the Universe.  I feel I am improving and growing despite some tiny little setbacks, or what seem to be setbacks...

This morning I cried a tad over some frustration I've been experiencing.  It was good to do this because I immediately felt emotional relief.  This is what climbing the emotional guidance scale (or ladder) is all about; improvement in how I feel.

This teaches me that crying or venting emotions are part of the process of climbing the emotional guidance scale.  When I push down or repress my feelings the just get stronger, but more importantly, it blocks my progress and the receiving of my Rockets of Desire...  Hmmmmmm...

One interesting new development I want to share is around the area of career.  I have been looking for work for almost three years now.  Uh huh, three years.  It can be a daunting process to say the least.

I have been working towards shifting my previous careers in sales & marketing, management and IT this whole time.  I have wanted to do something that FEELS good and uses all of my education, talents, desires and experience.  I want to work with and help others.  On Friday I got a call about a potential opportunity that seems like a great fit.  We'll see how this turns out...

The best part about this news is that I did not have to work for the result.  IT CAME TO ME!

I see this as a sign that I am on the right track with this Vortex Experience.  By focusing on feeling good and connecting with my non-physical self before doing anything I am inspired to do or say certain things or the things seem to be coming to me.  Yay!

Monday, February 1, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 29

Yesterday was spent riding my bicycle in preparation for this upcoming June's AIDS Lifecycle 9.  I will be riding 545 miles down to L.A. from San Francisco to raise funds and awareness for AIDS.  I met some new friends, I reconnected with some old friends and I got to ride my bike and have a ball.  It was a delicious experience and I had a ball.

Then when I got home I watched movies and rested for the remainder of the day.  It was a great day.

No big "aha's" to share except, do what I love to support and nurture my SELF as long as it hurts or takes away from no one else...

This feels like it is getting easier!  Yee ha!

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 28

I spent the entire day resting and watching movies.  It was a deliciously lazy and perfect day to say the least.

What is neat about it is that I can now surrender to doing nothing and nurturing my SELF.  Before this experiment there was always something to achieve or somewhere to get or something to produce.  Now my actions are based upon being CONNECTED and feeling alignment with my non-physical self.

What is even neater about this is when I really do take care of my SELF and focus on feeling great the Universe responds and supports me.  I don't get any guff from anyone about anything.  Everything seems to just fall in place and no one argues or rebuttles my actions or intentions.  It is delicious!

The Reader's Digest version of this "aha" is that when I focus on nurturing me and being CONNECTED, the whole Universe supports me.  Hmmm!  I wished I learned this years ago...

Anyway, that is what is on my mind about yesterday...  XOXOXO