Saturday, February 6, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 34

Yesterday was productive, however, I found myself in my personal, dysfunctional, spinning, ego-centric, tornado of emotions and self-doubt.  It was a good experience because I learned something about myself I needed to see...again...

What came to me this morning about yesterday and these past few days is that I have been focusing on what I am NOT getting instead of what I want.  Sound like a theme?  Well it is.  It is a habit I have had as long as I can remember.  I have done this over and over and this is the cause of my tornado and my experience of anxiety and depression.  It is a vicious cycle that I need to shift.  I can’t to this to myself anymore.  It hurts me and keep others away.  I am exhausted and tired of feeling and being alone.

My focus is now turning to my SELF.  I have to take care of me before I can be of any value to anyone on the planet.  I have to resurrect my connection and my relationship with my SELF and go from there.  I ahve faith everything will fall into place out of this action and focus.

I trust this.  I know this and I give thanks for it.  And so it is…

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