Thursday, February 4, 2010

The 90-Day Vortex Experience - Day 32

A great day!  It didn't start out that way, but it sure ended up that way!


I was able to deal with some ugly stuff that has been coming up in a close relationship.  I had been focusing on the other person, what they were and weren't doing.  I was beating the "Pity Party" drum pretty loudly and rapidly and had been for quite some time.  Eew!


What I learned about myself is that my negative reactions and emotions coupled with the lack of communication and sharing was pushing this person(everyone) away from me.  They would steer clear of me in order to protect and shield them from my toxic emotions.  Wow!


Is this why I was alone most of my life?  Is this why my mom, dad and brothers stayed away from me from time to time.  Is this why I have little intimacy and closeness with my family of origin?  Is this what pushed close friends away from me with no explanation?


Can you see a life-long pattern here?  I sure as heck do!!!


This opens up a whole new realm of possibility for me: BEING IN COMMUNICATION!  Great, now I have something to point to with my therapist to work with to improve all these relationships I had mentioned above.  Yay!


This IS the Law of Attraction in action because I have been lamenting about these relationships for years.  Now I am clear that my energy pushed all these people away.  I didn't do it intentionally, I just did it by default.  Now I get to work on the why and unplug the myths and dysfunctions in my own self so I can have amazing relationships from now on no matter who it is.


This is AWESOME!  Thank you Source for this amazing opening and transformation of my mind!  I am finally free to really be myself and celebrate life to the fullest because I am no longer in my own way!  Wow!



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