Saturday, May 1, 2010

Life inside "The Vortex"

About a week ago I made a snap decision and reacted to something that had been going on around me for some time now.  It was my emotional response to preserve and protect my SELF.  I am not proud of the way the communication came out, but I am proud that I finally said what needed to be said.

So, let me look at this from the perspective of the "Law of Attraction" and "The Vortex".  My emotional guidance system pointed me to conclude that something was causing way too much pain.  Something was out of whack.  The pain was the clue that I was NOT in my Vortex of creation and that something needed to get looked at and shifted.  So, I worked through my pain and the tears and got into communication.

It ended up not so pretty because I did the snap decision thing I tend to do and communicated in a manner that left the other person bewildered, cut off and shocked.  Basically I dropped a bomb.  This is saying it mildly for sure...  When I get clear and am coming from my "default" way of being I don't leave others room to respond, react or be in communication.  This happened to someone very near and dear to me.

Well, by focusing on what I wanted and not what I didn't want.  I went about my business of making arrangements and plans.  In this focus I was powerfully, with emotion, focusing on what I want to create.  This is a very powerful place to play from.  Focus with emotion equals invoking the law of attraction with power and focus.  This is what I've been attempting to do for some time now, but the part I had been leaving out was the communication piece.  Being honest with where I am and trusting that others will react with compassion and love.

Well the long story short is by holding firm to my ground (my Vortex) and my "decision" I saw a shift in this other person such that they began a conversation to break the ice.  We hadn't spoken for a week and it had been pretty uncomfortable.

We are going to work together on seeing what we can do to rescue the friendship.  There is a lot that needs to be said between us, but I am clear that I finally broke through an ugly barrier that I have run up against my entire life.  What is that barrier you ask?

The barrier of putting EVERYONE first and being subservient to their desires and needs.  My needs have taken a backseat for a LONG time...my whole life!

Exhausted, I had no other recourse than to set a limit and say this is it!  No more!  Sometimes being in my Vortex means having to make unpopular decisions by taking care of my SELF.  Like the flight attendant tells us, "please place the mask over your face first before trying to assist anyone else, including small children traveling with you."  I cannot help or love and appreciate others without having done that for my SELF first.

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